First off, if you get confused easily, don’t read this.
However, if you want to know some of my thoughts on a certain theory I have, then go ahead.
In Rutgers University’s 2001 National Marriage Project Survey, 94% of 20-to-29-year-olds said: “When you marry, you want your spouse to be your soul mate, first and foremost.” Another 88% said: “There is a special person, a soul mate, waiting for you somewhere out there.” (John Grey, PhD.)
In our day and time, there have been many theories on what exactly a soulmate is, and whether they actually exist at all. I was recently reading an article by John Grey and his wife that helped prove that in some shape, way, form, or fashion, soulmates are very real.
“Two Kinds of “Soulmates”
Putting this together, the following formula occurred to us:
• Love at first sight = Potential Soulmates
• Love that overcomes upsets and challenges = Real-World Soulmates
We realized this is the secret of real-world soulmates: two partners who engage in soulwork together. This is not something you can forecast in advance, when you initially fall in love. Real-world soulmates are tempered by time, like metal by fire. Time reveals that they persistently chose to learn and grow when confronted by challenges.
All relationships will be tested and challenged, simply because all of us have some personal growth to do — no matter who your partner is. Soulmates are partners who actually do their growth in the face of a challenge. Many couples start off with great hopes and dreams, are potential soulmates, but then falter when challenges arise.
As coaches, we found people could learn new strategies to move through challenges instead of being thrown off track. Inspired by our personal experience, we now confront the popular myths about soulmates. We attemt to show, from our own life and from the lives of our clients, how to make the dream a reality.
With today’s high rate of relationship dissatisfaction, it’s time for major change. Regardless of intellectual beliefs, most people unconsciously hold onto a fantasy soulmate myth. We try to turn the myth inside-out, to create an inspiring and useful approach to longterm happiness in love. (Grey)
Typically, we as teens and young adults tend to jump to conclusions about a lot of things, including love. The soulmate theory has been around for years, and of course, nearly everyone has heard about it. However, I’m guilty of jumping to conclusions about several things, including the soulmate theory. However, now that I have experienced a little bit of happiness with somebody that I have known only for a short while now… It’s quite impossible for me to think that we couldn’t be soulmates. In fact, we’re going to be fighting the odds, and over time, we will continue to grow closer to each other… it wasn’t a situation where I immediately thought he was my soulmate when I first fell for him. Only time made me realize that he is – as short a time as that has been so far. We only have room to grow.
We are the ones who must realize it is our own openness that is the key to expanding in love — and then learn to re-open ourselves — even when there are challenges. No, especially when there are challenges!
We are asked to stay present with what is — not run and hide, waiting for the rainy day to pass. We are challenged to put aside limiting beliefs and embrace the rain, realizing that even rain has a positive purpose.
Relationship is our greatest teacher. It tells us what we need to learn next in life for our soul’s growth. In love we are called on to do soulwork — to become more skillful in relating, move beyond our past wounds and limits, and grow as human beings. This personal growth will include learning new tools and strategies in how we communicate, behave, and process emotions. (Grey)
Logan, I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you more with each day. With time, we’re slowly becoming not two seperate people, but one being. “So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”
